Wednesday, March 18, 2009

To the General

Today my lovelies was the dear General Caled's Birthday. Verbana thought it would be a wonderful idea to throw him a surprise party on board The Orgia and I couldn't have agreed more, as long as she took care of all the necessities, which she did, and quite swimmingly if I do say so myself. All the major players were invited of course. Somehow all the Penny Dreadfuls made it. Doc and Rapture showed up taxiing Whisper and the Captain on their way back from performing some feat or another at a certain undisclosed location. Lucretia happened to show up before any of the other guests and went on a rampage in the kitchen insisting that she be chef and mastermind behind the whole ordeal. Verbana said in her nicest tone "Lucretia dear, please remove yourself from this kitchen or I shall have to have your head." Having a large sense of self preservation, Lucretia quickly ran away as fast as she could and joined me, Doc, Whisper, Captain JHW, Rapture, Captain Adella from the Rapscallions and her First Mate Orriet, already having a few drinks in the designated birthday room. When did the Rapscallions show up?

As the door opened a thunderous "SUPPLIES" came out of our quite drunken mouths and we ran forward to give plenty of hugs to the General. It's too bad that it was the McManniss Brothers we tackled to the ground instead. It was a nice surprise since the last I had heard, the brothers were somewhere over London, or was it Portugal? Hmm, where was I, who are you? Oh right readers and such, well where was I? AhHA! We then proceeded to try and stand up, that took a lot longer than it should have seeing as I thought it would be a fun game to tie all of our shoes together while we were rolling around on the floor; oh me, I love games! As the drinking continued, Verbana came out of the kitchen with the chef and the meal. Where was the General? We knew he was somewhere on the ship so we decided to go on a General Scavenger Hunt.

Stop 1- Sun Deck Bar - "Nope, he is not at the bottom of this cup" "I can't see him anymore too. Oh No, I think I drank him *sniff sniff* why did that happen *sniff* Stupid bartender putting the General in my cup"

Stop 2- Birthday Room- "My friends *sniff* I give a toast to the late General"
"Hear, hear!" "We'll miss you General" "I will kill a girl and put her in your grave with you good friend"
"I'm Not Dead"
"I'm not dead, you drunken idiots. Now, shut up and give me a birthday celebration"
**Enter a long pause while we all stared at a man who we, moments before, thought was dead.**
"Happily third day to you. Happily third day to you. Happily THURSDAY hear my memorial. Happily thursday tooo yoouu"

I woke up a few hours later with my ears ringing, left hand holding a chicken leg, and my hat, balancing precariously on the edge of the gravy dish. I saved my hat from a gravy death, ate the chicken leg *mmm gravy* and headed up to the games room to play a few rounds with Old Joe Smittenworth (I'm trying out a new nickname).

Where did everyone else go?

Twenty-four Hour Haze

I spent yesterday in the Haze. All twenty-four hours of it, wandering out with my chauffeur, hitting up various hot spots in the Worcester, Massachusetts area. I'm not entirely sure what, or who, I did in all this time, but I do know that at some point Orion was able to penetrate the fog and fill me in on some future plans. Something about seeing Watchmen and eating people on March 6th. Who knows what that man talks about. Not even an employee of mine for a week and already he is stepping up to the plate like a champ. Good for him.

Free Advertising

Some friends of mine, The Rapscallions, were recently asked to participate in a live interview for a certain well-known radio station. Being the ever-entrepreneurial person that I am, I immediately sent out some of my best death threats to ensure that I would be talked about during their interview. It seemed my threats had the desired effect. I was the last thing to be mentioned and the up selling was fantastic. So thank you Rapscallions for doing a better job selling me, than you did yourselves.
Keep the Haze going my dears!

New Additions

It is official my dear friends, Orion has joined the staff of The Orgia. He will be taking up the position as my personal Bodyguard and Advisor.

I remember back to when we first met, at __insert name___ bar. I was throwing back many a flagons of ale telling stories, being loud and boisterous as usual. Out of the corner of my eye I saw this shady looking gent who kept peering over at me. I raised my cup and shouted over "HEY YOU! Come here and know me better man!" Turns out he was quite drunk himself and he only kept leering at me because he was hallucinating I was a giant cask of talking wine. After sharing many a tale of cunning, bravado, and epic battles it came out that Orion was in need of work. Thankfully for him I was need of a worker.

I needed a thing taken care of with a guy, somewhat messy business.

So I hired him, he took care of the job and it was good business ever sense.
He worked a few various jobs for me here and there, then he disappeared for a few months. When he came back I offered him the full-time job and now you are all caught up.

To commemorate the occasion I opened up my personal wine cellar and drank merry myself full. The girls were dancing, the band was playing, and all had good times.

The Haze is back my friends. All aboard The Orgia!

Where has all the staffing gone?

The Penny Dreadfuls are getting ready for a big change. The Captain, Whisper, and Rapture are about to head out in an RV to spend their days traveling around being street performers and attending cons. Jealousy is rearing its big ugly head inside of my stomach. This is fine by me because I have plenty of other things to keep me occupied. At least I thought I did.

As Proprietor of AirshipEntertainment it is my job to promote our group and get our name out so we can be invited to cons and such. Well let me tell you, it is hard to do that when you don't have any staff backing you up. It is even harder when you don't have any crew backing you up. (Crew = Family, Staff = Everyone Else)

I thought I had two staff members who could ultimately become crew. We were attending cons together, doing online promotional things, working together to further our goals. So wrong! They could care less. They want me to do all the work and spoon-feed them the success. Both are selfish to the point where they forget everything unless it pertains to themselves, and I can't get a word in because it is difficult as all hell to have a conversation with them because they will either forget it or blab on about themselves. Actions need to be taken to fix this problem. What am I to do? Normally I would just fall into the haze and let my staff members work this out, but that clearly won't work. Speaking of which my haze time has been greatly decreased and I am getting super cranky. I am contemplating firing everyone and starting over from scratch. I have a potential in the works, just waiting to hear back from him on whether or not he will accept the position.

Being the boss is supposed to be fun and yet it is losing its thrill.

An Introduction of Sorts

Baron Von Lahey at your service! I am the proprietor of AirshipEntertainment, a fleet of Airships designed around YOUR pleasure and happiness. From gambling, to brotheling, to tea on the high deck, we do offer it all. Please feel free to view any of our ships as a safe haven and a decent place to leave me all your monies. I can attest that our goods are of the highest quality, and will be some of the best you have experienced. Our motto is simple; There's a room for that, and if not, then there is now. Stop by and have yourself a wonderful time and do remember, it's only good business. I'm sure that will make sense at a later time but I can't even begin to know what I'm talking about.

You will usually find me and my closest advisors on board the flag ship of the fleet, The Orgia. Our largest ship by far she is certainly a sight to behold, offering more than any man, or woman, could ever imagine. The daily shows can put the leading theaters out of business, and the saloons are always open. Breaking free of territorial bonds, The Orgia has a mind of its own, traversing the world, bringing the good times to you. Be sure to keep an eye out on on the horzion else you miss us. I thank you in advance for your patronage, and wish for you all to keep the haze going.

The Baron

As a side note - Some of my customers *cough* The Penny Dreadfuls *cough* tend to be better customers than others, so please be good dears and follow their example.